self

“Silence is a way to build strength and self-sufficiency.” Ryan Holiday

“The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.” Robert Greene

… and how we nurture them!

Having a well-balanced approach to life is the only way to grow oneself and grow and nurture better life and working relations.

The health life we all dream of can only happen when we proactively engage with others in a positive mental attitude, and congruently align personal beliefs and values with action.

To examine oneself should be a daily pursuit we all aim to enact and prioritise.

The only life worth living is the one that is designed as a foundation for future generations to build upon. Living it in full and lighting it up for others who are coming after you should be out life’s true mantra.

What kind of life have you been writing?

“Let us therefore set out whole-heartedly, leaving aside our many distractions and exert ourselves in this single purpose, before we realize too late the swift and unstoppable flight of time and are left behind. As each day arises, welcome it as the very best day of all, and make it your own possession. We must seize what flees.”
—SENECA, MORAL LETTERS, 108.27b–28a

You woke up today, that’s a great thing for starters, many haven’t. Then you went about your business, afterall we have to live and for that, we must work.

But what if there’s more to our days than what we have to do based on what is expected from us?

What if we can turn things around, decide for a change of action, begin doing those things that really inspire us? Things that leave us with a strong sense of fulfillment.

Perhaps some of us have been doing that already. Some few have reached that level but by experience, observation or even by just reading the news and stats, I’ve learned that most of us haven’t. Most still feel trapped.

The good news is, we all can!

This morning when I got up I was faced with three scenarios and I believe we all face them everyday. Which scenario we will chose is up to each one of us:

I would would have woken up with visions of my past. Somehow I feel locked in my memories, old preconceptions and paradigms. I’m unable to make a clear decision on my life, or to know what to do with it. I’m locked in past fears and traumas, filled with regrets and sorrows, many “if-I-onlys…” or “if-life-onlys”… Thoughts occupying my mind. Basically feeling life has dealt me a bad hand.

Or;

I woke up this morning locked in my present, tons or things to do. I’ve got to get going as I’m super busy! Work commitments dominate every aspect of my daily life. This is just business as usual, life as it is and no time or space for anything else. I’ve got to keep going. No time to waste, and that’s the way it is. No, I don’t feel fulfilled, or happy, it feels I just woke up in this gridlock and there’s no way out, I’ve got bills to pay and so on, I’m playing the catch-up game. Get up, grab a latte on the go and get to work. Isn’t the way things are or should be? Aren’t we all locked up in this present rat race?!

Or;

I could have woken up with the visions of the future I want to create, and the place I want to be. Knowing that each decision I make today will bring me closer or further away from that future. When I look back to my past I seek to understand it and learn from it, not to relive it. I’m grateful that despite the hardships, trials and tribulations, through fires and storms, hurts and disappointments; I have made it to where I’m and I believe that I can learn from the past, change in the present moment and move towards the future I envision.

This morning we have all woken up with this three scenarios and the decision is ours how we live our lives.

Life is indeed fleeting and we will never be able to have back the time we lost. Seneca admonishes us to make the most of it, make this day our own! This is the best day of my life because today I can decide to change, I can take control of my thoughts, attitudes, my life actions and fulfill my destiny.

Today we can leave aside all the other distractions and set our minds, energy and focus to embrace the future we dream of. So, what is going to be? What is in the menu today for you?

Someone once said: ‘the way you do anything it is the way you do everything’. So, how we will achieve anything in life is directly linked to way we face and takle our daily menial tasks. Even the most simple ones or the ones we feel we should not be doing.

Success does not happen to you by chance, but rather it is born out of a lot of sweat and tears. It is often the result of years of practice and determination, repetition and failures, ultimately of compound actions based on your beliefs and the dreams you might entertain for how you want your future to be.

When you decide to pursue that vision and build your life goals the you set off on that road, your journey to success.

Whatever we want to manifest, it will not happen to us as a matter luck. It is what we do repeatedly until it becomes a habit, then those habits will take us to our destiny.

It might start with something as simple as an idea, as Tony Robbins likes to put it our ‘sweet obsession’. Something that will compel us to keep going, pushing forward.

The road to success is a rocky crooked one, never a straight line and always under construction.

But what is success? How do we know we got there?

We all have our ideas of what success is. For some, it could be financial freedom, for others the limelight, stardom; or both. Some may define success by the recognition they receive based on the intellectual contribution to science and human development. They seek their place in history.

True success is manifested in how deeply our lives are touching others and how much we have become an agent for transformation, peace and love, for equanimity. Success is about building and raising up futures generations and the legacy that survives us after we departure from this life.

What is success for you? Are you pursuing it with all your strength? Are you devoting time and energy to make it happen? What do you want to leave after you? Or what do you want to be remembered for?

“There’s no faith and no courage and no sacrifice in doing what is expedient” prof. Jordan Peterson

To know oneself should be the main thrust in life and to refuse to be what others impose on us, a self-conforming attitude we accept because of fear of not fitting in, or perhaps we are afraid we will not be loved but ostracised. We fear being somehow outcast, we miss being part or something bigger that can furnish us with meaning.

But perhaps we should stop and question!

That is also true to technology today, not being part in a social network, or not making use of a particular device or platform, being seen or heard online, etc…

To refuse is to question, unfortunately most of us have been told right from our early beginning to shut up and conform. We are given an identity to dress that are not of our own design but rather it has been imprinted on us by our family, friends, by society, by our traditions, beliefs and cultural values etc. Not that we have to reject all that outright but we must find a way to discover our true self inspite of all that.

The proposition of refusing what we are is not a nihilistic one, it is an invitation to courageously journey through our very own self and be brave enough to desconstruct and rebuild in a continual cycle of self discovery.

Refusing what we are may also mean to be opened for what we are to become. It is surely harder to let go of something we have than to embrace something new and unfamiliar as most of us live in prisons of our own making, that familiar dark place becomes soothing and comfortable because it is the only state we know.

Hence, refusing becomes a vital exercise for life embetterment and true transformation, it is a invitation to embrace our very own individual chrysalis that will eventually liberate us to fly away to freedom.

Men who reject the responsibility of thought and reason can only exist as parasites on the thinking of others.

Ayn Rand, The Virtue of Selfishness: A New Concept of Egoism

A man becomes calm in the measure that he understands himself as a thought-evolved being. For such knowledge necessitates the understanding of others as the result of thought, and as he develops a right understanding, and sees ever more clearly the internal relations of things by the action of cause and effect, he ceases to fuss, fume, worry, and grieve. He remains poised, steadfast, serene.”

James AllenAs a Man Thinketh

Something machines will never be able to experience… That’s innate to us humans and we must cherish in the fact that what makes us many times weak also elevate us and makes us beautifully distinct.