Father and Son, it doesn´t have to be this way

Why does it have to be that way? Why do we want to break away and become independent when we are young? Why fathers cannot understand us fully? I did it that way too as a son; that’s sad. When you become a dad, you learn and suffer. That was one of the reasons I did not want to become a father.

I love Cat’s song below; it is profound and invites us to think about the father-son relationship. Both seem to be correct in their views, and both wanted to convince each other of the son’s actual needs. The father reflecting on his own existence and past, doesn’t want the son to fall into the same traps while denying the son’s internal feelings and struggles.

The son, unable to hear what the father is saying, believes that his dad cannot understand what really goes inside his mind. He believes that leaving home is the only solution to find himself in the world and be happy.

Why does it have to be that way? Can we turn our heart to each other? Can we learn to relate to each other and discover the world afresh? The father should now recognise that he has had a life, but things have changed, and now he must allow the son to grow while offering him support and love. The son eager to live but recognises that his dad has got experiences and could learn from, and he wishes that his father would walk with him.

Not having my dad anymore is very sad, such a loss seeing him going still fairly young. In my case, he was the one wanting to go home to the afterlife. Being a dad for my two sons is such a blessing, but I wish there was more time. Time to stop, reflect, ponder and learn.

Today’s relational options are almost always fractured by the age gap, the changes and demands of the new ‘modern’ digital world, peer pressure, and the allure of independence. Contrary to the original prodigal son in the song, the good son would realise that there is no such a thing as being independent. The father will then know that there is always time for new changes; we must embrace them together.

Father and sons should always be connected, even more, powerful when they connect with nature and their community and the people in their lives. In the end, we will all go back to the source and rest with our fathers.

What if we can re-write the song below in our own lives no matter whether we are today the father or the son? This is the challenge I set before me today. What about you?

Fathers, maybe it is time to go with your son through all the changes, to understand his life challenges and choices. Sons, perhaps it is not time to go, stay and work things out, invite him in, be patient… Who knows how much a father and a son can do if they are together in this world…

Father & Son

It's not time to make a change
Just relax, take it easy
You're still young, that's your fault
There's so much you have to know
Find a girl, settle down
If you want you can marry
Look at me, I am old, but I'm happy
I was once like you are now
And I know that it's not easy
To be calm when you've found
Something going on
But take your time, think a lot
Think of everything you've got
For you will still be here tomorrow
But your dreams may not
How can I try to explain?
When I do he turns away again
It's always been the same, same old story
From the moment I could talk
I was ordered to listen
Now there's a way
And I know that I have to go away
I know I have to go
It's not time to make a change
Just relax, take it slowly
You're still young, that's your fault
There's so much you have to go through
Find a girl, settle down
If you want you can marry
Look at me, I am old, but I'm happy
All the times that I've cried
Keeping all the things I knew inside
It's hard, but it's harder to ignore it
If they were right I'd agree
But it's them they know, not me
Now there's a way
And I know that I have to go away

Songwriter: Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam)

Father and Son lyrics © Cat Music Ltd.

Changing your worldview

Don’t get stuck in your old ways. Change happens in an instant; it’s a conversion, a turning of direction. The philosophy, worldview and the lenses by which you see everything must be in congruence with your goals and visions for your future; otherwise nothing will work.
Change your philosophy is the starting line and the best way to achieve anything is by optimising your life for the starting line, not the finishing line. .

Don’t get stuck in your old ways. Change happens in an instant; it’s a conversion, a turning of direction. The philosophy, worldview and the lenses by which you see everything must be in congruence with your goals and visions for your future; otherwise nothing will work.
Change your philosophy is the starting line and the best way to achieve anything is by optimising your life for the starting line, not the finishing line…

Some claim they want to change the world, some others want to win the world, a large number of people just want to get by. No matter what you have chosen your life by your own philosophy. It ultimately informs your beliefs and values, shapes your choices, habits and decisions.

Whatever you want for you, it will be achieved or not by your own views of the world and the reality around you. That is what Jim Rohn is telling us here. The biggest giant lies within, without defeating him/her first you will never feel free to be what you have got to be. Your own self-limiting beliefs and philosophy is preventing you from growing and from success.

This blog aims to address the needs of those two initial types of people in the paragraph above. The ones who want to change and affect the world as well as the ones who want to win. And many times they are but the same people. You can’t conquer the world unless you truly affect lives.

You must affect your world first, to be able to influence others’. You must adopt a new mindset first then you will realise what steps you need to take to fulfil your dreams. You have to adopt the right attitude, the correct set of behaviours and values.

What is the minimum change you can promote today, right now to start the process? What should you think differently about? What kind of thinking is not supporting your vision for your future?

Jim Rohn Reloaded

5 Steps to Becoming a Change Agent Marketer

*adapted from Seth Godin’s This is Marketing


“Marketing is the generous act of helping others to become who they seek to become. It involves creating honest stories—stories that resonate and spread.”


Seth Godin, This Is Marketing: You Can’t Be Seen Until You Learn to See

Living in the British Islands

Ey up!

20 years ago today I was landing in Manchester to study then moved up to Yorkshire to build and develop partnerships between Brazil and the UK. I had plans to stay for a couple of years max then move over to the continent.

Time flies… As I prepare to finally transition this year I would have never thought or imagined Britain would be coming out of the EU. Who would have thought of that 20 years ago (apart from Mr. Farage and his circus friends 🤡)?

I still remember what the immigration official asked me when interviewing me for the visa: _’Are you sure you want to come to this country? Have you seen the weather outside?’ Yes, it was one of those horrible Mancunian days. I still don’t know if I have ever been sure, to be honest… joking!

“It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.

― J.R.R. Tolkien,  The Lord of the Rings

The weather does play an important role in shaping our mood and emotions when you live in the British Islands, however, it is just one variable in the equation. There’s has been many more factors at play that have shaped who I have become in the past 20 years. I’m so grateful for the number of amazing people the Universe brought into my life. Life is never a straight line and God only knows how hard the journey had been many times (some of my closest friends can testify to that). Nevertheless, I’m blessed with the gift of stubbornness, so I’m still here, pushing forward, enriched by the love and warm welcome I had in the British Islands and purposeful as ever.

I’m indebted to all the friends I got along the way from many different nations from around the world for the loving support, partnership and for believing in me. I love you all and have cherished all these last 20 years. I think I can say without hesitation I’m a proud BBB – Brazilian Born British. I was born in Rio but surely I have got a Yorkshire heart. “I’m chuffed t’bits wi’ that.”

I’m humbled today and have my 💓 filled with gratitude, great ride, amazing folks, deep learning, opportunities for growth, some bad moves and few falls, new starts, few great hits, isn’t what life is all about after all? For the future, while I’m still around, as Mr Young once sang, gonna “Keep on Rockin’ in the free world! 🎤🎸🎶

The key when embracing a new culture is the identification without the loss of your own cultural identity, embrace the new and retain the old, adapt, change but keep true to yourself. Seek to help others along the way and exchange value, as you enrich other you are enriched back.

No man can become rich without himself enriching others

Andrew Carnegie

Creed also had a 1999 hit that speaks to me as this is the dream of all of us who wants a better Earth for all to live, those who want to leave a dent in the universe as Jobs once put it.

“Although I would like our world to change
It helps me to appreciate
Those nights and those dreams
But, my friend, I’d sacrifice all those nights
If I could make the Earth and my dreams the same
The only difference is
To let love replace all our hate
So let’s go there
Let’s make our escape
Come on, let’s go there
Let’s ask can we stay?” Creed, Higher

20 years in the United Kingdom
20 years in the United Kingdom

“Mors certa, vita incerta”

The Latin quote popularised by Dick’s book is one I particularly have close to my heart and thoughts every day. We never know what is out there waiting for us. Our freedom can be taken away, out lifestyle, our loved ones and even our own life. A million things can obliterate our plans and shattered our dreams. Even if some may find reasons to be boastful we must understand that we all have the sword of Damocles dangling over our heads. Whatever you think you have can be taken away.

In one of the oldest written poems known to us, ‘The Epic of Gilgamesh’ is written that “Man is snapped off like a reed in the canebrake! The comely young man, the pretty young woman— All too soon in their prime Death abducts them!”

The Stoics also had that at the heart of their philosophical thinking…

“Keep death and exile before your eyes each day, along with everything that seems terrible—by doing so, you’ll never have a base thought nor will you have excessive desire.” —EPICTETUS, ENCHIRIDION, 21

“Don’t behave as if you are destined to live forever. What’s fated hangs over you. As long as you live and while you can, become good now.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 4.17

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In conclusion, to do good and to be good are the only virtues that matter. We must live and celebrate the now, our present. Many of us keep postponing happiness as if that will happen one day in the future when everything will somehow work out. Gratitude today is key to happiness. Being thankful for what we have and who we have in our lives.

In the final scene of Shakespeare’s final play, The Tempest, the main character Prospero says “And thence retire me to my Milan, where / Every third thought shall be my grave.” It evokes and acknowledges death as a possibility and imminent threat. However, reflecting on our mortality should not leave us in dread, it should rather have the opposite effect. To die while you are alive is the best way to purposely live after all nobody can kill and nothing can affect a dead being. That gives us clarity and motivates us to live a full fearless and purpose-driven life.

What is your verse?

Very early on today talking to a good friend of mine and also a business partner, we were discussing life purpose and the importance of having a clear personal purpose to guide our actions.


“For the secret of human existence lies not only in living, but in knowing what to live for.”

― Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

Most of us are so busy with the everyday life pursuits that we never stop to think or ask ourselves: “Why am I doing all this?”

That set me off for the rest of my Sunday morning. I normally use my Sunday morning to work on myself, study some area of science, social science and philosophy, learn something new and write about that so I can apply and change. 

Today that got me going… Interestingly I had a request for a new LinkedIn connection asking me to add him and also asking to know what was the impact of my work in my current organisation. I do not have much time to this sort of requests, they normally come with an introduction and offer of service (attention management is key here) but today I was in the mood to explore that!

What is my contribution to the world? The institution I work for is nothing but one of the many vehicles I can express myself, add to others and play a part in building a better environment we all want to live. My business, my network of family and friends, my charity work, etc…

I was then taken back in time to a film I watched many years ago and one of my favourite poems of all… 

O Me! O Life!

BY WALT WHITMANOh me! Oh life! of the questions of these recurring,
Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill’d with the foolish,
Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)
Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the struggle ever renew’d,
Of the poor results of all, of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me,
Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me intertwined,
The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?

  Answer.
That you are here—that life exists and identity,
That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.

Source: Leaves of Grass (1892)

in my view…

The power of identity and purpose should guide any life pursuit, find your verse, find yourself!


“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”

― Mark Twain

what is your purpose?
What is your life purpose?

How hungry are you?

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While we are in this world we must always make choices. The results and outcomes we have experienced throughout our lives are directly linked to those choices.

The only thing stopping us from growing and achieving amazing things are how we see ourselves and the choices we make based on this vision of ourselves at any given moment.

What drives us or keeps us in inertia is our own level of hunger, the obsession to achieve our peak… Inertia caused by fear and apathy is the result of a distorted image of ourselves and own shortcoming.

If you learn how to see yourself in a new light you will start to hunger for more, you will find your purpose and will be unstoppable!

Jim Rohn said “every life form seems to strive to its maximum except human beings”

Break free and reach your peak!

#peakperformance #reach #leadership #globalvision #empowered #leading360 #love #life #purpose #coaching #ushbaboy